{"id":451,"date":"2014-03-19T13:02:16","date_gmt":"2014-03-19T17:02:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/45.79.82.122\/blogs\/natterings\/?p=451"},"modified":"2014-03-19T13:11:19","modified_gmt":"2014-03-19T17:11:19","slug":"crappy-movies-i-love-congo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/?p=451","title":{"rendered":"Crappy Movies I Love:  Congo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have a lot of time on my hands, given that I&#8217;m currently a housewife. \u00a0One of the ways I pass the time (read: procrastinate from cleaning the litter-boxes) is to trawl Netflix for streaming video worth watching for more than five minutes. \u00a0As anyone with a Netflix streaming video habit can attest, that gets <em>difficult<\/em> after a while. \u00a0Soon you&#8217;re down to Syfy monster movies and direct-to-video nerds-have-a-party-with-boobs stuff, and &#8230;yeah. \u00a0A whole lot of bad movies.<\/p>\n<p>That said, I love some bad movies. \u00a0LOVE. \u00a0So while some are on Netflix, I figured I&#8217;d share. \u00a0While they&#8217;re &#8220;free&#8221; (read: cost of a monthly streaming membership, so about $10\/month).<\/p>\n<p>CONGO<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/QuR7npPcdzA\" height=\"315\" width=\"560\" allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Why I love it (and big spoilers) after the cut:<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Laura Linney! \u00a0This is one of the first projects in which I saw Laura Linney, and even with a completely inane script, she manages to bring a little bit of Laura Linneyness to the role. \u00a0She&#8217;s bad-ass, enigmatic, and for a former CIA agent turned corporate shark, she&#8217;s surprisingly mushy about gorillas and Dylan Walsh. \u00a0Also, she and Ernie Hudson get to shoot down surface-to-air missiles with flares.<\/p>\n<p>Ernie Hudson! \u00a0He gets to try on a British accent. \u00a0It comes and goes. \u00a0But he faces this turkey of a movie with remarkable \u00e9lan. \u00a0He has to utter immortal lines like, &#8220;I&#8217;m your great white hunter for this trip, though I <em>happen<\/em> to be black.&#8221; \u00a0He elevates all of his scenes. \u00a0Cigar-chewing, scene-chewing, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Tim Curry! \u00a0Okay, I will go out on a limb to say that Tim-Curry-being-weird is a trope that can end anytime. \u00a0I have no connection to <em>Rocky Horror<\/em>, I&#8217;ve only seen it turned into teenage musical fare on <em>Glee<\/em>, and I don&#8217;t really get the whole Tim Curry <em>thing<\/em>. \u00a0But he&#8217;s an awful racist greedy treasure-hunting ape-hater named Herkemer Homolka who gets his well-deserved comeuppance, and he gets to say, &#8220;The myth of the killer ape is TRUE&#8221; in an accent like the Count on Sesame Street.<\/p>\n<p>The rest of the movie contains Dylan Walsh mugging furiously, Amy the Good Gorilla (my brother and I still do &#8220;GOOD GORILLA&#8221; at each other now and again), five minutes of Bruce Campbell, a wafer-thin plot about corporate greed and lasers, and really smart Bad Gorillas doing things. \u00a0It&#8217;s a Hollywood movie about Africa, so of course it both invents &#8220;exotic&#8221; tribes AND features singing porters. \u00a0It is not a good movie. \u00a0Do not think that it is a good movie.<\/p>\n<p>But, it is a movie with a lost city and lava and gems and lasers and olde-time adventure and &#8220;the myth of the killer ape is TRUE&#8221; (one! killer gorilla. \u00a0two! killer gorillas, ah-ah-ah) and Laura Linney and Ernie Hudson.<\/p>\n<p>Plus it was nominated for several Razzies in 1996. \u00a0Enjoy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have a lot of time on my hands, given that I&#8217;m currently a housewife. \u00a0One of the ways I pass the time (read: procrastinate from cleaning the litter-boxes) is to trawl Netflix for streaming video worth watching for more than five minutes. \u00a0As anyone with a Netflix streaming video habit can attest, that gets [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=451"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":456,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions\/456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/natterings.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}